But the answer didn't come back.
I didn't say anything more either.
Just waiting. For him to open the door.
"Hoo..."
As I let out a long breath, hazy vapor scattered before my eyes.
'It doesn't feel like much time has passed.'
It felt even colder as the chill from the floor rose up.
'It's okay.'
I could endure it because I had come here intending to do this from the start anyway.
I bowed my head.
Aen...
'He must be angry, right?'
I knew this would happen.
Considering Aen's personality, he must have been incredibly surprised when I got caught up in the magic storm.
He probably tried his best to save me.
'He might be tired of me.'
I'm headstrong and make him worry every time. He might have completely lost his affection for me because of this.
'Then... this might really be the end.'
I looked down at the bag hanging in front of me.
Inside it was <Ayla's Medical Book> that Aen had so desperately wanted.
I was thinking of leaving it behind if Aen didn't want to see me at all today.
Actually... I could do that right now.
He must be hearing my voice from beyond the door.
If I said I would leave the book here and disappeared, Aen would take care of it.
But the reason I don't is.
'I don't want to end it like that.'
This book is the link that connects Aen and me.
If even this is gone, there would be nothing left between him and me anymore.
That's why I'm sitting here in front. I want to hand it over with my own hands, at least.
To congratulate him and tell him to live happily with his daughter for a long, long time. And, and...
'I wanted to say let's keep in touch from time to time...'
But even as the sun set, Aen didn't open the door.
I raised my head and looked at the scenery beyond the door.
The snow-covered ground was white, and the sky that had begun to darken was black and red.
It felt like less than an hour had passed, but seeing the difference in the sky, it seemed like several hours had gone by.
'Marin must be waiting.'
My heart grew anxious thinking about Marin waiting for me on the frozen ground.
I raised my head even more and looked at the firmly closed door.
And at this point, I was convinced.
'Aen won't open the door.'
If it had been the original Aen, he wouldn't have left me outside for this long.
He would have opened the door right away and pushed my back, telling me to come inside quickly because it was cold.
'Will he try to give me warm green tea again?'
I haven't touched green tea since the day I reunited with Aen for the first time.
But Aen often offered me green tea even after that day, probably because he found it amusing how flustered I was by the bitter taste of green tea.
"Sniff."
I wasn't crying, but my nose was running, probably because it was cold.
I roughly wiped it and took out <Ayla's Medical Book> from my bag.
'Let's admit it.'
My current actions are only making things difficult for Aen.
It would be great if I could meet him one last time, but...
'There's no choice.'
Because I don't want to make things difficult for Aen.
"Sniff."
So, it was right to disappear around here.
For Aen's sake.
I gripped the book tightly with both hands and then slowly released the force.
And I said.
"I'll leave the book in front of the door."
My voice spread through the quiet silence.
Surprisingly, I was quite calm.
I stared at the book for a moment and then opened my lips again.
I said what I really wanted to say.
"Thank you."
.......
"I was happy thanks to you. It was fun and... I was glad."
If this was the last time with him, I didn't want to leave any regrets. I wanted to leave a proper greeting.
Even if it was one-sided.
"Actually, it was a little hard sometimes."
This is.
"I was able to endure it thanks to you."
The greeting I couldn't give in the previous life.
"I know how kind Aen is."
My voice scatters hazily between breaths.
"I'm sorry for making things difficult for you because of me. Actually, I also..."
The last moment with Aen in the previous life came to mind.
At that time, Aen...
'Um, you know. Actually... I knew who you were from the first time I saw you, Miss. I pretended not to know because I thought you might feel uncomfortable with me. I'm sorry for deceiving you.'
'Don't misunderstand! The reason I'm revealing this now is because I want to become a little closer to you. At least, I hope you can feel comfortable in front of me.'
'So, can I call you Lucia next time we meet?'
He knew me and wanted to get closer to me.
But the foolish me of the past only focused on the fact that he knew my identity and ran away in fear.
I always, always regretted that last moment until the moment I died.
"...I wanted to be friends."
So, it's a relief.
That I can properly greet him this time.
I got up. Perhaps because I had been sitting on the cold floor for quite a while. My stiff legs had no sensation.
"I'll leave the book here in front-"
That was then.
Clatter.
The firmly closed door in front of me opened.
I, who was about to put the book down, flinched and slowly raised my head.
There...
"...Miss."
Aen, with a haggard face, was standing there.
"Haa."
He swept his face with both hands and looked down at me with trembling eyes.
Aen's brows narrowed. He shouted abruptly.
"Miss, are you stupid?!"
"...Huh?"
I was so taken aback that I could only blink.
He scrubbed his face roughly as if frustrated and said.
"If the door doesn't open, you should just leave! It's so cold, why are you just waiting there?"
"Ah..."
"And what's so good about a guy who ignored you like that that you're only whispering kind words? You should be swearing at him!"
"Uh..."
It was difficult to understand Aen's reaction.
Was he angry? Because I was bothering him?
But...
'Judging from Aen's expression, he seems to be in more pain.'
His expression as he shouted as if venting his anger with a face that looked like he was about to cry made me feel sorry for him.
Not knowing how to respond, I helplessly held out the book in front of him.
"I wanted to give you this..."
Aen's eyes widened at the sight of <Ayla's Medical Book>.
I imagined him being happy, but.
"...How can I accept this?"
Contrary to my imagination, Aen's face became even more distorted.
Why?
"Because of this, I..."
He looked like he was about to collapse soon.
Why?
'Aen is kind and considerate, so I guess he would blame himself, thinking that I was in danger because of him.'
He's someone who cherishes even the smallest things.
He probably felt guilty.
But I didn't know he would be this distressed.
I don't think I'm that important to him...
It was difficult to hide my bewilderment at his appearance, which seemed more distressed than expected.
I am skilled at reading other people's emotions, but I have only lived by looking at people's faces without any connection, so I didn't read deep into their hearts.
To me, who had only looked at superficial emotions, Aen's emotions were difficult.
I just couldn't help but feel that his appearance was too precarious and anxious right now.
He seemed to be having a hard time, and it felt like it was all because of me.
"I'm sorry."
I was already holding onto him.
I knew my touch couldn't support him, but I wanted to hold onto him in any way I could.
Aen looked at me with trembling eyes as I tightly grabbed his clothes.
And soon.
'I didn't want him to collapse.'
Aen collapsed.
He slumped down as if collapsing and hugged me tightly.
And whispered.
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Miss, because of me..."
It's hard to fathom Aen's deep feelings.
I didn't know what to do.
So I just kept whispering, "It's okay. It's okay."
"Come in. It's a bit too humble for Miss to be in, though."
After regaining his energy after a while, Aen guided me into the room.
It was a place that apprentice knights used temporarily, so it certainly felt more cluttered than other rooms, but...
'No, that's not it.'
It wasn't just feeling cluttered, it was really cluttered!
Things were scattered haphazardly, and for some reason, the blanket was sprawled out on the sofa instead of on the bed.
An empty water bottle and scraps of jerky were rolling around on the table.
"Ahem, it's a bit dirty, isn't it."
Aen cleaned up, moving quickly with a blushing face as I stared intently at those things.
After it was mostly tidied up, Aen sat me down on the sofa and placed a cup in front of me with steam rising from it.
"It's green tea."
"Eugh."
As soon as I heard the words "green tea," my shoulders reflexively stiffened.
A voice laughing "Haha" fell above my head.
"Just kidding. It's warm cocoa. It'll warm you up a bit if you drink it."
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