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'Even if you've grown up so much, even if you don't recognize me, I thought it would be okay because I'll recognize you.'
But as my memories faded, that certainty also faded.
What if I completely forget your face like this?
So even if we pass each other on the street, we don't recognize each other?
If we end up remaining as strangers forever...
What about me, who has longed for that child my whole life?
What if I can't even remember the face I long for?
I was a little scared now.
Idris, who suppressed the sudden surge of emotions, belatedly realized the presence of the butler and Heather and turned around.
"I'll look around a bit more, so go and take care of things."
As the butler and Heather left, Idris, left alone, looked around the still-empty greenhouse a bit more.
When spring comes and flowers bloom, this greenhouse will be filled with a variety of colors.
Then butterflies will naturally come.
"...I want to show it to you."
When will I be able to show it to the one I'm waiting for?
While looking forward to the day we meet, I sometimes thought:
'The reason I can't find you... maybe it's because you don't want to meet me.'
Isn't searching for you like this just my selfishness?
Idris, pondering questions he couldn't answer, wandered around for a while and left the greenhouse after seeing the cloudy sky.
But a few steps later, large raindrops fell on his cheek.
"......"
If he went back to the greenhouse and waited for a while, the butler would come to find him with an umbrella, but he didn't feel the need to avoid the rain.
Idris headed to the mansion at a slow pace.
When he was about halfway there, a shadow suddenly fell over his head.
It was Leticia holding an umbrella.
She looked like she had just returned from an outing.
Idris then remembered what his expression might be like now and quickly hid it with a smile.
"Why aren't you going straight to your room when it's raining?"
"If my lover is getting rained on alone, I wouldn't just pass by without saying anything, would I?"
"Um, that's true."
Leticia, who had approached him in the meantime, put an umbrella over Idris and said.
"Don't get rained on. I don't like bald people."
Idris chuckled. This time with sincerity.
He was slowly pulled in the direction of the corridor that Leticia was leading.
When they were almost at the corridor, Leticia, who hadn't asked anything so far, asked.
"Did something happen?"
Leticia, saying that, was looking ahead, not at him, and her tone was casual, as if she were talking about the weather.
It was an attitude that didn't put pressure on the other person.
Idris paused for a moment at the question but answered habitually.
"No, nothing."
Hiding his emotions was his long-standing habit.
The Empress and Deon ruined the things he liked, and the things he hated also became weaknesses.
So he didn't look for Aria until the Empress died.
He didn't want her to be in danger because of his desires.
But even though the Empress was dead, the habit that remained like a habit did not disappear easily.
Even though he was no longer a powerless child.
While Idris was lost in thought, the footsteps that were leading him stopped.
They had already arrived at the corridor.
"You might catch a cold, so go and wash up quickly."
Leticia folded her umbrella and turned around.
At that moment, Idris, who was watching her, moved his lips.
"...Leticia."
Leticia looked back at him with a questioning look.
Idris, surprised by his impulsive action that he didn't even realize himself, paused even after calling out to her.
But somehow he thought it would be okay to talk about it like this.
Perhaps because he had seen her wounds that she didn't want anyone to see, and he had the naive thought that he wouldn't be taken advantage of.
Or maybe...
'Because she looks like Aria.'
Idris brought up a story he had never told anyone before.
"When you were young, how would you feel if a friend who hurt you came to find you?"
It was a vague story, and Leticia might not realize what the question was about, but he became anxious for no reason.
Then he mocked himself for his appearance.
'Leticia isn't Aria.'
So her answer wouldn't be Aria's answer.
"Um, maybe..."
Leticia paused for a moment before speaking.
"Of course, I would hate them and think they're cheeky, right? Where have they been all this time, only showing up now?"
At that, Idris's eyes noticeably wavered.
"But."
Just as Idris was trying to control his exposed emotions, Leticia continued.
"But, in one corner of my heart, I would definitely be glad."
"...Even if they hurt you?"
"Of course, there are painful memories, but that doesn't mean the good memories disappear as well."
"......"
"So if they sincerely apologize and ask for forgiveness, maybe I'll feel better?"
Idris knew that the answer was just giving him the words he wanted to hear.
Of course, that answer wasn't Aria's answer either.
But strangely, the tension eased and a chuckle escaped.
"Thank you."
At his compliment, Leticia shrugged with a playful smile.
While Idris was watching her, the rain was gradually subsiding.
By the time I got to my room, the rain had completely stopped.
Just in case, I looked out the window at the corridor, but fortunately, Idris seemed to have returned to the main building.
'Today... was completely different from usual.'
Fear, sadness, longing...
It was the first time I knew that the man who always wore a smile that I didn't know what he was thinking about had such emotions.
That appearance was unfamiliar and awkward, but I couldn't turn away.
Because it resembled my appearance when I was sad after losing a childhood friend.
Was that why?
I unknowingly turned the steps that I was about to pass by.
The way he was getting rained on looked like he was crying.
Just like I used to do.
Once a memory surfaced, it overflowed like a broken dam.
Not only the good memories, but even the memories that were so painful to recall that I had tried to bury them.
'......Stop.'
With the past memories rushing in with a throbbing pain, I squeezed my eyes shut as if shaking off the memories.
At that moment, Erin came in with a knock.
"Lady, the bathwater is ready. Would you like to go right away?"
"Yeah, thank you."
I escaped from the past memories and headed to the bathroom with Erin.
In front of a dilapidated house in a poor shantytown.
A small hand that didn't seem to be mine knocked on the door against my will.
At the same time, I realized.
'......It's a dream.'
As if to prove that fact, a voice flowed out again against my will.
"Are you in there?"
The old house that looked like it would collapse at any moment didn't seem to be inhabited, but I knew that a child lived in this house.
'This is not a virtual dream, but a dream that reflects my memories from when I was ten years old.'
Just as young me was about to knock on the door again.
A voice of a boy of the same age was heard from inside the house.
"......Why did you come?"
It was a small but very sharp voice.
"I, I'm sorry. Am I too late? I tried to come sooner, but―"
"......You don't have to be sorry. I never waited for you."
"But...!"
Then, with a bang! The door in front of me shook.
As if something had been thrown from across the street.
"Get out! Don't ever come back."
Me in the dream shuddered.
Young me said something, but I couldn't hear what it was. As if it had been muted.
'Maybe it's because the exact memories have faded.'
Even though I couldn't hear anything from beyond the door, I only remembered that the child had been angry at that moment.
And also what would happen next.
Young me rubbed her hot eyes and turned around.
'No, if I leave like this...!'
I wanted to stay there, but me in the dream turned around against my will.
And blackout.
It was only a moment, but I could feel that a day had passed in the dream.
Young me was standing in front of that house again.
Just as I was hesitating for a moment and raised my hand to knock, the old door creaked open by itself.
What I saw through the open door was...
Badly broken furniture and clear bloodstains.
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