It was possible because he was focused only on the documents, not even acknowledging my presence.
'It's really Ego Rodbel.'
Of course, it's obvious that he's Duke Ego Rodbel.
But this strange feeling I'm feeling now...
'......It's been a while.'
It's because Duke Ego Rodbel at this time holds a more special meaning for me than ever before.
'I desperately begged for his affection.'
The first father figure I ever had was so precious that I struggled to please him.
I used to rush here every morning to greet him, searching for anything I could do, hoping to catch his attention even once.
'It was literally a desperate struggle.'
So meaningless.
'I feel strange.'
I slowly scrutinized the Duke's appearance.
When I fell into the Abyss, the Duke was in his mid-40s.
Even then, he looked like he was in his late 30s at most, but Ego Rodbel in his mid-30s, ten years ago, looked even younger than his age.
It was hard to believe that he was a man with four children.
Anyway.
'It's a relief.'
I was worried.
When I saw the Duke again, I was afraid I might waver without realizing it.
I was afraid that I might want his attention again, beg for his affection again.
I was afraid that I might still want a father.
'Not at all.'
I'm relieved now.
'I don't need a family anymore.'
Thank goodness.
A smile naturally formed on my face with relief.
At that moment, the Duke's eyes met mine.
I didn't expect to see him so suddenly, so I was momentarily taken aback and widened my eyes.
But soon, I slowly bowed.
"You said you called for me."
After a moment of hesitation,
"Your Grace."
I paid perfect respect.
The title 'Your Grace' that I uttered felt somehow unfamiliar.
Well.
'Before, no matter what, I always called that man Father.'
Even if he looked at me with contempt or ignored me with a blank expression, I couldn't give up the title 'Father.'
Even though I knew it was only increasing his antipathy.
It was a kind of stubbornness, and it was like the only lifeline I had.
'Because if I didn't call him that, it felt like my existence would really disappear.'
And I hoped that if I kept calling him that, he would answer me someday...
'I was a real idiot.'
I suppressed a snicker...
I was waiting for the Duke's words with my head bowed like that...
'Why isn't he saying anything?'
No matter how long I waited, no answer came back.
'What is it?'
Is he going to ignore me now that he's called me?
I clenched my teeth at the creeping cold feeling, then released the tension.
'What's new?'
Is this the first time he's ignored me?
This wasn't even something to be angry about.
That's when it happened.
As if he had read my mind, the Duke's voice was heard.
"I heard there was a small commotion."
I paused at the calm, deep voice that filled the quiet office and raised my head.
He had already put down his pen and was staring at me with the eyes of a complete stranger.
I barely managed to hold back a sneer.
'A small commotion.'
Locking me in a room with a poisonous snake, and a servant being bitten by that snake and foaming at the mouth and fainting is a 'small commotion'?
Yeah.
"Yes, that's right. There was a small commotion."
As you say, it would be a small commotion.
The colder my heart became, the thicker the smile on my face grew.
As if it was really nothing.
"......"
The Duke watched me like this for a while, then looked back at the documents as if he had lost interest and said.
"Still, no matter how trivial it is, it wouldn't be good if it got out."
Aha.
Now I knew why the Duke had called me.
'In short, it's about keeping it quiet.'
The second son brought a poisonous snake with a servant. A servant was bitten by the snake, and to make matters worse, he rampaged with magic.
It wouldn't cause much damage even if it got out, but there was no reason to let it get out.
The only people there were me, Bansis, the servant, and Ligrin.
If I kept my mouth shut, it would pass quietly.
'They'll take care of the servant.'
I almost laughed.
After all, even if I went around talking about it, no one would listen.
'It was a waste of time.'
But I suddenly got goosebumps.
The Duke probably knows that.
Even so, he's trying not to leave even the slightest room for error.
This is how he leads Rodbel.
He doesn't allow even the smallest gap and is armed with thorough perfectionism.
That's why.
'I've always wondered.'
How could such a perfect man leave such a stain as me?
That question only tortured me with hope.
Wasn't his feelings for my mother even for a moment sincere enough to endure even that stain?
That's why he brought me, even though he despised me, and kept me within the confines of Rodbel.
That glimmer of hope made me desperate for more than 10 years.
'Idiot. Moron. Fool.'
I only found out the reason right before I died.
It wasn't hope or a gap.
My existence was a prepared item, thoroughly calculated from the beginning to be offered to the evil god.
My mother's escape with me created a variable in the plan, but in the end, everything went according to his wishes.
Maybe my mother knew the plan in advance and ran away.
'It's okay.'
It was no use regretting my past self now.
Rather, I was grateful that I had learned the truth even now.
"The answer."
The Duke forced an answer in a voice that dripped with ice.
The answer he wants is obvious.
I bowed my head slightly and gave the expected answer.
"Yes, you don't have to worry."
It wasn't an empty promise.
I didn't want to spread this incident either.
'Because I can't shake Rodbel with just this much.'
Rather, I could incur the Duke's antipathy and get in the way.
The Duke took my answer for granted.
He turned his head again as if to tell me to leave.
If it were before, I would have left tactfully.
'Is it over once you're done with your business?'
I didn't move and stood upright, looking at the Duke.
Only after a while did the Duke realize that I hadn't left and looked at me with an expressionless face.
"Why aren't you leaving?"
A terribly cold voice.
I didn't waver and said to the Duke with my hands clasped together.
"I have a request to make to Your Grace."
"A request?"
His neat brow narrows.
That face was very similar to Bansis when he was young.
His eyes became even colder.
The meaning of 'someone like you?' was clearly felt, but I pretended not to read his gaze and only looked at him with innocent eyes.
"......Let's hear it."
It literally meant 'I'll just listen,' but that was enough.
I smiled brightly.
"Thank you, Your Grace. Then..."
With my back straight and my hands clasped together, in a neat posture, smiling brightly at the Duke.
"Please disown me."
I announced the real purpose of my visit here.
"......What, did you just say?"
The Duke's eyes shook.
'Interesting.'
Looking at the Duke's face, I sneered inwardly.
Having only seen his face frozen coldly like an ice statue my whole life, it was thrilling to see him embarrassed even for a moment.
Of course, I didn't show it on the outside.
Hiding my emotions is as easy for me as breathing.
"I asked what you're saying now."
A voice as cold and sharp as an ice awl flew in.
If it were before, I would have quickly shrunk back and been mindful of his mood.
"Please disown me, Your Grace."
I said again without wavering.
"Huh."
Only then did the Duke realize that he hadn't misheard and let out a ridiculous laugh.
But even though it was a ridiculous laugh, the gaze with which he glared at me was fierce.
"Do you even know what disownment is and are you spitting it out? I'm asking if you know what that word means."
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